Dear Fox
by MB Otaku
Summary: Following the letter writing trend established in Dear Keiko & Dear Yusuke, Hiei decides to sit down and write Kurama a letter with his feelings in it.


Title: Dear Fox

Disclaimer/Summary: Following the letter writing trend established in _**Dear Keiko**_ and _**Dear Yusuke**_, Hiei decides to sit down and write Kurama a letter with his feelings in it. This story can be read alone but to get the full breadth of the nonsense/humour check out the other two as well.

I own my summer vacation and have earned absolutely nothing from it.

**Dear Fox,**

**Go fuck yourself.**

"_This is the stupidest thing I've ever done,"_ Hiei thought, staring at the blinking cursor on the screen. He sat in front of Kurama's computer, annoyed with the task that faced him. The aforementioned youth was currently away from his room, but judging from the late afternoon sun, he would soon be home from school. In the meantime, Hiei was forced to deal with a troublesome situation he'd been placed in.

There appeared to be a trend of letter-writing plaguing the group. It was a pandemic of feelings and shit. Those stricken went around spreading emotional epistles to those close to them. Just yesterday Hiei witnessed Kuwabara deliver a 10-minute long proclamation of his undying love and faithfulness to Yukina. Granted, the only difference between this proclamation and the usual ones was the length, but the point remains. Yusuke wrote Keiko a letter that resulted in Kurama getting his hair colour touched up. Botan gave Genkai a letter which resulted in the old sage flinging something at Koenma's head. Supposedly somewhere in the inter-dimensional realm between the planes of the three worlds Sensui received a letter from Mr. Itsuki, news of which confused the hell out of everybody who heard about it. All this commotion of confessing and caring could all be traced back to one seemingly innocuous exchange between Yusuke and Kurama that would cause the teenaged half-breed to write the first letter in the long chain that would follow. Yes, it was indeed the fox who had encouraged Yusuke to 'get his feelings out on paper'. And yes, it was the fox who had turned to Hiei, poking him in the head asking if he felt like writing a letter, somehow putting Hiei in this strange position.

Therefore, the fox was entirely to blame for everything. And so:

**Dear Fox,**

**Go fuck yourself. **

**I don't have time for your feelings, I have shit to do.**

**What you think I have something to say to you that a piece of paper will help me in doing?**

**I know where you live fool; I have something to say I'll say it.**

**If I have to write you something again, I'll carve it on your ass.**

**Is this some new human practice you're forcing on me? As if I didn't already have enough disdain for this world?**

**Goodbye.**

Hiei begrudgingly read over what he'd just typed. He stared at the blinking cursor on the screen again, eyes narrowed, foot tapping as his annoyance grew by nanosecond. He was considering removing all evidence that he'd actually succumbed to the whims of his partner and written a letter of _feeeeeeeelings_. Not that the miniature demon did not have emotions or denounced their existence altogether but there were other things to think about like keeping his relations from his sister, keeping the bumbling oaf from having relations with his sister. You know. Important stuff. As he was about to fling the entire device out the window again, he heard Kurama's greeting to his mother and his sudden presence outside the door.

Turning the knob, Kurama entered his bedroom, plunking his bag beside his desk chair. Paying no attention to the somewhat fuming fire demon sitting on his windowsill, he began unbuttoning his uniform jacket, placing it on a hanger nearby. Hiei sat watching in silence as Kurama moved about the room at a despairingly slow pace, exhausted from the day's exertions. Eventually, after what felt like an agonizing amount of time, the tired youth sat down in front of his computer. Shaking the mouse to bring the monitor to life, he read the letter that Hiei has left up on the screen. Hiei watched the back of Kurama's head intently, watching him read.

"_It's his own fault if he gets upset,"_ Hiei thought. _"This stupid letter trend for stupid people and somehow I've been dragged into this ridiculous - "_

"Yes Hiei, I like you too."

"Excuse me?" Hiei exclaimed in surprise.

"Obviously this is a confession letter," Kurama said. Turning off the monitor, he spun in his chair to face the demon seated on his bed. Getting up, he quickly moved over to the bed and managed to plant himself on top of the fire demon. "So I'm returning your clear affectionate feelings documented by that letter."

"H-Hold on a second," Hiei said, placing a hand on the advancing fox. "Maybe you should take the time and write down your feelings in a letter or whatever stupid reasoning you had?"

Kurama paused for a moment and looked down at Hiei for a minute. He then reached over to his night table. Opening a drawer, he pulled out a sealed envelope with _Hiei_ written on the front and placed it on top of the table. "You can read it after. Now weren't you saying something about carving my ass?"

"It was a figure of speech," Hiei said dryly, not even bothering to fight off his friend's hands.

"Hmph I'm sure. Now you just be quiet and take it like a man."

And with that the letter-writing came to a temporary end in a haze of sweat and sperm. Luckily there were no paper cuts in unfortunate areas.

-End.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, the short that it was. So you can review if you liked it, review if you didn't and feel free to check out the other _**Dear…**_ stories and my other stories.

Have a good day, thanks again for reading!


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